She has a boyfriend. What do you do?

This pretty much sums up all my experiences with women.

Josh got a new bed. I am super jealous.

Since Josh got a new bed, I decided to take his old one and frankenstein it under my current one. Lets just say its probably going to be a disaster, but this only has to last until mid-May. Feel free to stop by and take test drive on it.

Does this bother anyone else?

So it has been about 9 months since I have moved into this house, and I am still having this problem. Let me explain my plight. This is going to sound crazy, but I am annoyed by the bathroom door lock. The thing is, ever since I was a kid, a the lock position on a door lock was vertical. This pretty much has been my life for about 20 years. Then I moved in here and on the bathroom door, vertical is the unlock position. The thing is, I catch this about 90% of the time, but sometimes when I finish taking a piss, I realize anyone could just walk in on me doing whatever in the water closet. Does anyone else get annoyed when they go somewhere that has subtle differences that they are familiar with?

Sun Shines and Grass Grows

I got caught up in this nice weather. After suffering through the Arctic Missouri winter, I couldn’t wait for this warm weather. But I almost feel like this nice weather is not going to last. Our house has been at an uncomfortable 82 degrees the last few days. If this summer is anything like the last 20 summers, it should be a scorcher. But I’m straying from my main point, the lawn needs to start being cut. Through some divine intervention, Josh miraculously cut it yesterday. Not only did he do a great job in the front, but he managed to do it before the rain started. The backyard is a different story, as one section of the lawn, which we have dubbed many things ranging from “blue balls lagoon” to “The everglades”, is becoming a problem.  The problem is that water drains up from a pipe into the back area. It’s not so much as drain, as it is more violent uprising that would put most fountains to shame. I know some of you are saying, “But Dan, why is shit water coming out of the ground bad?” Besides watching the dog drink out of it, then try to lick our faces, it also causes an insane amount of growth in the area while also eroding the soil around it.  So Jeff took the reigns and tried to cut down the jungle-esque grass, he also destroyed the ground around it.  Oh well, in about 3 days, the grass will be completely overgrown so I guess it doesn’t matter.

Don’t Drink the Water!

http://www.nj.com/yankees/index.ssf/2008/04/dont_drink_the_water.html

So the MLB is banning any drink from dugouts that is not Gatorade. Is this necessary? I hate to say this, but I can’t help but feel that this may be all part of a plot of Bud Selig to completely bastardize the game. Isn’t Aquafina the official water of baseball? Oh well, I guess we can look forward to a whole marketing onslaught for G2.

Priest floats off under party balloons

“A CATHOLIC priest who floated away under hundreds of helium balloons in a bid to raise money for his parish is missing off Brazil.

Only pieces of the party balloons have been found by searchers looking for Reverend Adelir Antonio de Carli off the coast of Santa Catarina state, the Associated Press reported.”

I hope this priest is okay, but then again, I mean, come on. You fly off under freaking party balloons. But check this out. Imagine waking up Sunday morning for Church, and when you are walking into Church, your priest comes floating down out of the sky with balloons. Just think of the sermon!

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New NIN single released…Holy Shit!

Discipline by Nine Inch Nails

This is incredible news, as I did not expect anything from Trent since he just released Ghosts I-IV. I suppose I could make a silly comparison about releasing a song called Discipline on Earth Day, but I digress. This single reminds me of With Teeth, which although it is one of his lesser liked albums, I still enjoyed.  People need to realize that NIN is heading in a completely different direction.  I hate coming off as some cliched prick, but I feel that they are truely trailblazing their genre and music in whole. Also, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say that perhaps a full album might be coming out this summer. That being said, hopefully it will be released online again and in different formats. I seriously have an erection over this. Just kidding, but seriously.

Halo 3: A look back

Since our neighbors (Birdhouse) have been playing Halo 3, I decided to dust it off and fire it up. After all, it has sold over 8.1 million copies. So after six months, how does it stand hold up?

First off, I don’t think I will talk about single player that much, as that is a static experience. I enjoyed the single player quite a bit, but overall, I felt that it was paling in comparison to Halo 1.  The Assault on the Control Room is probably the greatest level of any Halo game in my opinion.  It was definately better than Halo 2 though.

But enough about single player, how has multiplayer lasted over the course of the year. First off, they released the heroic map pack for free, which I imagine has attracted more players. The new maps are actually pretty decent.  I tend to pay attention to the small details. For example, I spent about five minutes just staring at the satelites in Standoff.

Bungie also added more playlists and more game types to their matches. This is great, but it just seems everyone wants to play team slayer.  Can I just get 1 Big Team territories on any map besides Valhalla. But this brings me to my next point.

Team Slayer is stupid and just freaking pointless. And on top of that, I would say about 85% of anyone who plays team slayer is a douchebag. So unless you want to sit around forever and hope someone is going to decide to play team skirmish, you are stuck with these assholes.

And one more thing, I wanted to post a picture of Cortana up here, but that was a mistake. Did bungie really think it was a good idea to give the grave mind tentacles? Seriously.

Biohazard Bassist Blasts BitTorrent

The bassist and vocalist of the band Biohazard says that people who ’steal’ media by downloading it are “scumbags” and you better know that if he catches you doing it, he will happily “kick the shit out of you”. But the real problem, he says, are BitTorrent sites.

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I hate to say it, but has The Office jumped the shark?

I’ll keep this short because I don’t want to come off as an elitist prick who criticizes popular culture,  but I feel like The Office has fallen off after the writer’s strike. I feel that the show that I once loved is missing its dry humor, and the characters are empty shells of their former glory.

I’m just going to take a stab in the dark and say that maybe the popularity of the show has gotten to the staff, because I feel like they are just trying to hammer these out.